(no subject)

[scarredlion.livejournal.com]

Who: Squall & Balthier
When: Day
Where: Their cell
What: Squall has been self harming
Rating: R



Squall was crouched on the floor of the cell, close to the bottom bunk. He had a blade in one hand, the other arm slashed and cut; there was blood on his skin, on his clothes, on the floor, dripping onto an envelope beneath him. His eyes were red and wet with tears. His entire body trembling.

As he entered the cell, his stomach turned at all the blood. Eyes wide, Balthier silently shifted to kneel in front of Squall, taking the blade. At that, he slapped Squall hard across his face. "How dare you?! If you killed yourself; then what?!"

Squall's head was whipped aside at the slap, but he didn't retaliate. He curled up more, running his fingertips over the fresh, deep cuts. "Who would care?" He mumbled, voice barely audible.

"Do you want me to hit you again, Leonhart? Crazy little fool..." He moved to grab a washcloth, soaking it in cold water, wrapping it around Squall's wrist. "Come here." He lifted the smaller male to sit on his lap, on the floor, cradling him close.

Squall buried himself against Balthier, covering the other male in smudged blood. "She doesn't love me. She doesn't need me..."

"She who?" He frowned, petting Squall's dark hair and rocking him lightly, holding tightly to the cloth around his wrist.

Squall's body started to tremble again. A mixture of too much crying and blood loss. "My mother..." He murmured, digging his nails into his own arm.

Balthier slapped Squall's hand before bringing it to his lips and kissing the knuckles. "Your mother. I understand that, but I'm sure you are mistaken."

Squall tried to pull away, trying to get the bloodied envelope. Inside was a letter, talking about Raine's pregnancy. She was having a child with that man. The vile man who made Squall's life a nightmare. The letter made is very clear that there was no room for Squall in their lives.

Balthier took the letter and read it. His eyes narrowed at it and he gritted his teeth. Slipping his hand into Squall's pants pocket, he retrieved his lighter and lit the bottom corner of the letter, holding it away from them. "This is how much her words matter." He kissed the top of Squall's head.

Squall gave a squeak, maybe a grab for the letter, fingers dancing through the flames. He buried his head in Balthier's shirt, clinging to him with a sob.

Once the letter reached his fingertips, he shook it out, leaving only a small scrap of paper and ash on the floor. Wrapping both arms around Squall, he stroked his cheek, rocking im gently. "You do not need her. I'm here for you, Squall."

Squall sniffled a little, tucking his head under Balthier's chin, rocking himself. "But... why doesn't Mom love me?"

"She's a fool. No mother should think this way of her child." He pulled Squall closer, petting him lightly. "...We should wrap your wounds."

Squall pulled away from the washcloth and looked at the bloodied slashes decorating his wrist and forearm. "... I'm sorry..." He whispered.

"You should be. If you'd dug too deep, I'd be soon to join you." Balthier picked up his lover, lifting him to the bed. "Stay there." Moving to the locker, he retrieved a bandage and a few dressings, returning to Squall's side to begin wrapping his arm.

Squall curled into a tiny ball, save for the arm Balthier was dressing. Beneath his shirt, his torso was scratched and clawed by his nails.

The pirate finished with his lover's arm and moved to uncurl him. "Come. We need to get you out of these bloodied clothes." At his words, Balthier began to attempt to remove Squall's t-shirt.

Squall shifted a little uneasily. Squirming like a child caught doing something naughty. He pulled off his t-shirt and instantly covered his body with his arms.

Balthier's eyes narrowed at the squirming then widened considerably at the sight. Peeling Squall's arms from his chest, he sighed, closing his eyes at the scene. "You certainly never do things by halves..."

Squall stared at the floor, unable to look Balthier in the eye. "I..'m sorry..."

"I'm sure you are." He moved to the sink again, washing out the cloth and soaking it again, returning to clean the scratches and claw marks on Squall's body.

Squall squirmed a little, resting his hand on Balthier's wrist. "Why do you love me?"

"I love you because you are beautiful. Inside and out. I love your heart and soul. I love your fire and your passion; I love you because you are you." Balthier replied, his eyes on Squall's.

Squall lowered his gaze. "Why don't you get mad at me? Why are you being nice to me?"

"I slapped you. I think that is enough whilst you are still injured." He answered, his eyes falling to the wounds.

Squall once more wrapped his arms around himself, trying to hide the injuries from view.

Balthier pulled Squall's arms away and leaned in to kiss a particularly brutal claw mark. "You mustn't do this to yourself, Squall..."

Squall whimpered and squirmed, digging his toes into the bed. "Ah~ Don't look at them... Don't kiss them..."

"You've marred such beautiful skin. I'll kiss you until it doesn't hurt anymore. Until her words do not sting any longer." He replied, kissing chastely against Squall's chest.

Tears rolled down Squall's cheeks, dripping onto the bed sheets. A sob escaped his throat, his hands grasping for Balthier.

Balthier pulled his lover close and kissed his cheeks softly and repeatedly, ridding them of tears as soon as the droplets escaped. "I love you. That's all that matters."

Squall clung to him, trying to stop those tears. "Never leave me?"

Balthier lifted Squall's chin and kissed his lips, his thumb brushing over them a moment later. "Never. You are my most cherished treasure."

Squall smiled a little then, taking hold of Balthier's hand, tracing his fingertips over the marks.

Balthier touched them lightly, keeping his eyes fixed on Squall's, his free hand petting gently and soothingly through that brown hair.

Squall worried his bottom lip between his teeth, forcing himself to keep his eyes on Balthier's, trembling a little under the touch.

Leaning in to press a kiss to Squall's forehead, he pulled the small male closer. "You are beautiful, Romeo. Scars and all." He murmured, barely whispering.

Squall snuggled against Balthier, letting out a soft coo, rocking a little.

Balthier smiled softly, the noise being quite adorable. "Mn... you need clothes." He muttered, not exactly moving to fetch them, mind.

Squall shifted, unfastening his pants, pushing them past his hips, before pulling them off with his feet.

Balthier chuckled softly. "You are going the opposite way in the dressing department, Leonhart." He teased.

Squall curled up a little, flopping his head on Balthier's lap. "Comfier."

Balthier rested against the wall of the cell, petting his fingers through his lover's hair. "Squall... don't do this again."

Squall frowned and looked up at him. "Don't... cuddle?"

"Don't cut." He corrected, shifting to lay back, pulling Squall on top of his chest.

Squall laid out on top of him, smothering him like a blanket. "I'll try."

The slightly older man leaned in to kiss the smaller male's lips. "Try hard."

Squall kissed back. "I'll try... But I can't promise."

"I... I understand that." He bent his knees up, hooking one leg around Squall to keep him close. "I'll do anything to help. What you need, I'll give."

Squall made no attempt to escape. He closed his eyes, burying his head under Balthier's chin. "I just need you near me."

"I'm near you, love. I won't ever abandon you." He whispered in his lover's hair, kissing him gently.

Squall nuzzled Balthier, beginning to purr softly like a contented kitty. After a few moments, the noise ceased. "It stings..."

"Would you like me to take you to the infirmary?" He asked, still petting him lightly down his back.

Squall shook his head. "No, just keep hold of me."

"I've got you. Though, if it stings, you should not lay on your wounds."

Squall snuggled more. "I'm okay. I love you."

"I love you too, but I worry in case you are hurt laying like this..." He wriggled a little, attempting to pry Squall from him.

Squall only clung tighter to his lover, making no attempt to move.

"Nn... Squall. Do not be stubborn. I wish to see the wounds." His eyes narrowed like a father scolding his child.

Squall shifted then, flopping onto his back. "Don't stare."

"I shall stare at you as I see fit, love." He smirked cheekily before running a finger over the wounds. "They are deep..."

Squall squirmed a little, trying to avoid Balthier's gaze. "They're nothing."

"They're cuts that cover your beauty." Balthier leaned in to kiss lightly in the centre of his lover's chest.

Squall wriggled a little, pulling Balthier up to kiss his lips. "They'll heal."

Balthier nodded slightly, kissing back. "They will." He ran his fingers through Squall's hair. "No more cutting."

Squall frowned a little, before giving a nod. "... No more..."