(no subject)

[lonely-rebel.livejournal.com]

WHO: Kain, Michael
WHAT: Michael gets some lube
WHERE: Kain's office
WHEN: Morning
RATING: PG-13



Michael made his way up to Kain’s office. He wasn’t due to be there for another couple of hours, but he needed to ask the therapist something. As much as he didn’t want to, but he knew that if he asked Kain he would be able to get something quicker. He knocked on the door and waited for a response.
Kain looked over at the door, wondering who it could be. He had only moments before just gotten to work and changed into his usual clothing. Maybe it was David coming for an early greeting. “Come in,” He said and was surprised when he saw the tiny red-head come into the room, “Michael,” He checked the clock, “I’m not due to see for another few hours.”
“I know,” Michael said closing the door and stepping over beside the chair in front of Kain’s desk. He wrung his hands together nervously, “I ummm…. Wanted to ask you something.”
Kain watched Michael as he moved more into the room, it was strange for him to see the man like this. He was usually stubborn and angry. Not nervous and shy. But he smiled warmly anyway, “Of course. Ask me anything.” He said and gestured to the chair as he sat down himself.
Michael sat down and looked over at Kain and then away, almost embarrassed, “I ummm…… I wanted to know…… if you could…… I mean if you would be willing to……… do you have…… ummm…. Any….. uuhhh…. Lube I could possibly have.” He said this last part kind of rushed. He couldn’t believe he was asking this. And he hated knowing that Kain would most likely know why he was asking about for it.
Kain nodded. “I do.” He stood up and went back into the bedroom part of his office. He wasn’t going to ask why Michael needed it or make a big deal out it. The man had enough trouble just coming here and asking for the lube. He found an average sized bottle of unopened lube and returned back to Michael. He handed him the bottle, “that should last you until you can get some more.” He reached into the top drawer of his desk and pulled out a small paper bag. He held it open for Michael to put the bottle inside and then handed it back to him. He was sure the red head didn’t want to walk through the prison with an exposed bottle of lube in his hand. Michael mutter his thank you as Kain moved to sit back down again. “Since you’re here, Michael. Why don’t we just do your session now?”
Michael shifted in his seat uncomfortable, “Fine,” He said stubbornly.
“Let’s talk about Jay.” Kain suggested.
“Jay?” Michael furrowed his brow, but it was obvious he had become suddenly less stubborn. “Why?”
“You seem to be rather fond of him.”
“Yeah, well that’s only because I admire what he did to get in here.” Michael said, trying to act as if he had put a wall up again.
“How does he make you feel, Michael? I mean in a purely non physical way.” Kain asked and only got a shrug from Michael. “Michael, believe it or not, I’m trying to help you.”
Michael rolled his eyes, “Really? How?”
“By helping you sort out your feelings for him. I know whatever it is, confuses you, so I’m trying to help find some clarity.”
“I don’t need to find clarity. I feel nothing for him,” He shrugged, “He just happens to be my cellmate.”
Kain smiled knowingly, “Just happens to be your cellmate, who you would come to see me about getting lube to share with?” He didn’t want to bring it up and make Michael uncomfortable. But he knew this would get Michael talking.
“I---“ He heaved out a sigh, “What would you know?”
“I know a lot more than you think. Please, tell me how you feel about him. How does he make you feel when you’re around him? When you’re not? How do you feel when you think about him?”
Michael looked around, “You swear this ain’t gonna get out to anybody else? You and I will be the only one’s who know about this conversation?” Kain nodded and Michael hesitated before continuing, “When I’m with him I feel…… wanted. I’ve never felt wanted before, you know? I feel like for once I actually matter to somebody, that somebody is happy to see me. I feel calm, not…. Pissed. And if I am, whenever I see him all the anger inside seems to just…. Go away.” He shrugged, “I almost feel happy around him. And when I’m not around him, I miss him….. I feel kinda empty and I just can’t….. wait to see him again.” He paused, “When I think about him?” He shrugged, “I get butterflies I guess. And feel really warm inside.” He shrugged again to signify that he didn’t know what else to say.
“Michael,” Kain began calmly, “It sounds to me as if you’re in love with him.”
Michael blinked, “I…. what?” He looked confused as he tried to make sense of it all. He had asked Jay how you knew you loved someone. He suspected he did, but wasn’t sure, never having felt the emotion before. His eyes darted around the floor as he thought, “No, I…. Maybe…..” He shrugged, “I guess.”
Kain smiled, “It will take a while for you to realize it. But now that I’ve helped a little with the clarity, it will be easier for you to understand what you feel for Jay.”
Michael was silent for a long moment, “C-can I go now?”
Kain nodded, “Yes. I will see you tomorrow.”
Michael snorted and then left.