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[dive-in-deep.livejournal.com]

Who: Sen, Open
When: Morning
Where: The cells
What: Sen is going through a breakdown of sorts
Rating: TBA



Sen had never felt more alone that he did at this point in his life. He'd lost eveything. Sword. Norman. His happiness. All of it. He didn't even know where to begin picking up the pieces to put his life back together. He had no energy left to fight, all he wanted was to curl up in a ball and give up. Sword was happy in his new prison and wanted nothing more to do with him. Norman seemed happy enough with his new friends. Sen thought he'd known abandonment - having his parents disown him, but having his lover and best friend cast him aside hurt more, especially since it'd all been his fault.

He had bruising all down one side from a run-in in the showers with a bunch of lowlife losers hasseling him about Sword. He hadn't had the energy to fight back, in the end just letting them rape him like some cheap dirty whore - after all that's all he really was at the end of the day.

He'd spent most of his time in his cell, it seemed so empty without Sword. The only traces of the man ever being here were his posters of naked women that hadn't been taken with the rest of his stuff, and the fading remains of his scent on the pillows and blanket. And of course Sen's stash of photos, taken with a polaroid camera he'd bought from the catalogue. They looked so happy in the photos, yet that seemed a million years ago. The Warden had once told Sen that inmates don't deserve happiness, maybe he was right.

Sen knew losing Sword had been his own fault entirely. Looking back, he hadn't handled the situation well at all. From another's view he could see how bad it looked, but from his own viewpoint he had truely believed he was doing the best thing for Sword, for Ky. Yet all he'd done was make things worse, a lot worse.

Why was it so hard to move on? Sword had. Norman had. So why couldn't Sen? Would he ever truly get over Sword? No... He'd always love him, after all, it was Sword who had shown him what love was - even if neither of them had seen it for what it was at first. Would he ever know happiness again? He'd lost his sun, what more was there to fight for?