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[dive-in-deep.livejournal.com]

Who: Sword & Sen
When: After lights out
Where: Their cell
What: Sen tries to help Sword relax
Rating: R



It was after lights out and Sword lay in his bunk facing the wall. He couldn't sleep though not for lack of trying.

Sen had been drifting in and out of sleep, but hadn't been able to drift into a deep slumber. He rolled onto his side, letting out a soft sigh. "Sword... are you asleep?" He whispered from the top bunk, loud enough that the other would hear him is he was awake, but not too loud that it would wake him if he wasn't.

"Yes....." Sword mumbled quietly.

Sen chuckled softly under his breath. "Well, can I come down there and sleep with you then?"

"Why?" He sighed and rolled onto his back.

"Because I can't sleep?" He responded, looking over the edge of the bed into the darkness.

"So?"

"So I might sleep better down there."

"Why? There's more room with just in person in the bed."

"Yeah, but I can steal your body heat and be all warm and comfy."

Sword sighed, "Sen. I'm not having sex with you...."

"I didn't even mention sex! We can share a bed without doing it. Well... actually, we probably can't since you are such a perv."

Sword sighed again, "Fine...."

"But I guess we could try, see how long you can resist my tight ass." Sen shifted to the edge of the bunk and jumped down, pulling his pillow down with him.

Sword snorted and rolled over to face the wall again.

Sen set his pillow down and sat on the bed, shifting to spoon against Sword's back. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"You sure? You don't seem yourself." Sen replied, wrapping his arm around Sword's waist.

"I'm just tired....." He lied.

"Then get some sleep" Sen frowned, nuzzling the back of Sword's neck.

"Do you have to sleep sp close to me?"

"Why does me being near you bother you so much all of a sudden?" Sen sat up a little. "Did I do something to piss you off?"

"No."

"Then what is it?"

"I would like some room to move around in."

Sen lay back down, shifting to the edge of the bed. "...Better?"

"Yes," Sword said, moving to fluff his pillow.

Sen let out a sigh, nuzzling his head into his own pillow.

Sword settled back down into bed and let out another sigh.

"You sure you're just tired?" Sen asked, nudging Sword with his toes.

Sword moved his legs away from Sen quickly, "Your feet are freezing."

"Well yeah... That's why I wanted to steal your body heat, because I'm cold."

"But then I'll be cold."

"Well, not if we share body heat. We'll both be warm."

"Just Sen! Stop it, okay!?"

"What's wrong? Why won't you let me near you?"

"Because I don't feel like it!" He snapped.

"Feel like what exactly?! All we're doing is laying together, is it really so terrible?!"

"I don't feel like doing anything with you right now!"

A guard came along and tapped the bars with his nightstick, "Quiet down in there."

Sen sighed and shifted a little. "Why?" He whispered. "What have I done wrong?"

"It's not you. You didn't do anything."

"Then what is it? What's bothering you?"

"It’s nothing. You wouldn't understand."

"Try me. I might."

"I don't know."

"What harm can it do? It might help."

"No. I don't know. As in, I don't know what's wrong."

Sen frowned a little. "Well... when did it start? Did something trigger it or did it just suddenly happen?"

He shrugged, "I dunno."

"Well then... what are you feeling? Anger? Depression? Confusion?"

"I feel like crap...."

"Emotionally? Physically?" Sen asked, shifting closer.

"I dunno...... I'm not good at this stuff."

Sen gave a soft chuckle. "I had noticed. Just... say whatever comes into your mind."

"I feel like crap." He repeated.

"Well, now try and think why you feel like crap."

Sword gave a frustrated sigh, "I. Don't. Know." He said through gritted teeth, trying not to yell.

"That's why you need to think about it, ask yourself 'what is missing from my life?' or 'why do I feel this way?'. Is it me? Do I make you unhappy?"

"It's not you. God Sen. How many times do I have to say it?"

"Well, if you don't know what it is, how can you say it's not me?" He sat up slightly, reaching for Sword's hand in the darkness. "Maybe you should.. I dunno... see someone?"

"I don't need to see someone. And I may not know what it is, but I know it's not you. I'm just...... I dunno depressed I guess."

Sen sighed and laced his fingers with Sword's. "Depression is the biggest killer in this place."

Sword nodded and sighed, rolling onto his back, "It sucks."

Sen sat up, resting a hand on Sword's chest. "Maybe you need a hobby? Something to kill time, that doesn't involve killing other people?"

Sword chuckled, "Like what?"

Sen shrugged. "I dunno, whatever you want. You could take up boxing, or art, play cards, collect stuff, whatever you feel like."

"Yes. Cuz I look like such an artist," He rolled his eyes, "Haven't we had this conversation before?"

Sen chuckled. "Probably, perhaps you should listen to my advice sometime." He kept his hand on Sword's chest. "I just wanna see you happy, ya know?"

Sword sighed, "I don't feel like doing anything at the moment."

"Then don't. Take a break from everything. Let your men deal with everything for awhile and just relax."

Sword relaxed back into the bed a bit, "Okay. I'm relaxed...."

Sen smiled and shifted to lay back down. "That's a good start."

"Nothing’s happening....."

"You're thinking too hard. Close your eyes, relax and let go of everything in your mind."

Sword cracked open an eye, "What is this? Meditation hour?"

Sen gave his nose a light poke. "Come on, just do it. You won't relax if you're being a dick."

Sword sighed and relaxed again, closing his eyes, "Now what?"

"Think of a happy time in your life. A memory perhaps, or a place, somewhere that makes you feel good inside." He ran his hands over Sword's sides lightly.

Sword sighed, thinking this was ridiculous, but he did it anyway.

"Lose yourself in that happy place. Forget everything else, focus only on that one thought." Sen murmured, leaning over to kiss along Sword's jaw, down his neck, running his hands over the other's torso.

Sword wasn't really thinking about anything much except for what Sen was doing.

Sen continued to kiss downwards, raking his teeth lightly over Sword's collarbone, letting his nails rake lightly over Sword's sides.

Sword now thought only of what Sen was doing, but something wasn't right.....

Sen paused for a moment. "You're tensing up. Let go. Let go of everything and just relax."

"I am relaxed..."

"Then why are you tensing up?" He asked, continuing his assault of kisses downwards to attack on of Sword's nipples.

"I didn't realize I was."

Sen chuckled softly, swiping his tongue over the nub, using one of his hands to tease the other.

Sword arched into Sen's touch. Though something still didn't feel right, he remained relaxed.

Sen once more began to trail his kisses downwards, dipping his tongue into Sword's navel, raking his teeth and nails over the man's abs lightly.

Sword tangled his hands into Sen's hair, trying to ignore that feeling that something was off and just enjoy what was happening.

Sen trailed his kisses along Sword's hipbone, purposely avoiding his groin. "Talk to me. Tell me how you're feeling."

"Weird....."

: Sen stopped his kisses. "Weird? In what way?"

Sword shook his head, "I don't know. Like something's off...."

Sen nudged his chin lightly against Sword's hipbone. "Off? Am I doing something wrong? Too gentle? Too rough?"

"No it's fine. I don't know what it is..... I've never felt this before...."

"Well... is it a good feeling or a bad feeling?" Sen asked, resting his head on Sword's stomach. "I mean I don't want to do something to make you feel worse."

"What you're doing is fine, Sen. Just go back to what you were doing."

"Well... okay then..." Sen shifted a little, resuming his teasing kisses. He let his fingers spider over Sword's groin.

But Sword's cock didn't respond to Sen's touch as it normally did. In fact, it didn't respond at all.

Sen frowned a little. It was a little ego-deflating that Sword wasn't even slightly hard. It didn't make the older male feel too confident about his talents. He shook his head, trying not to let it bother him and instead worked his kisses back upwards.

Sword frowned, "What are you doing back up here?"

"It's called foreplay." Sen whispered. "You should try it sometime." He half teased, shifting to straddle Sword's waist, resting his hands on the man's shoulders to rub gently.

"Foreplay is boring...."

"It's good for... setting the mood."

"I'm in the mood."

Sen's hands faltered a little on the other's shoulders. "Well yeah..." He shifted a little uneasily. "Sometimes... we can be in the mood mentally... without... um... feeling it physically..."

Sword furrowed his brows, "What the hell are you talking about?"

Sen shifted to lay beside Sword. "Look... it’s no big deal. It happens to guys all the time, especially when they're stressed." He sighed and took hold of Sword's wrist, guiding his hand to his flaccid length.

Realization dawned on Sword. That's what was off. He couldn't believe he didn't realize it soon. He pushed Sen away, of course, getting angry out of embarrassment, "Shut the hell up," He said and turned away from Sen.

Sen let out a sigh and shifted to kneel behind Sword, reaching out to touch his side gingerly. "Sword... It's okay, don't worry about it. It happens. It's not a big deal."

"That's easy for you to say."

His touch grew a little more confident, stroking Sword's side soothingly. "It's probably just stress. And if it's not, if it is a... real problem then there are ways to fix it. It doesn't change anything."

"It's not a problem!"

"Well then there's nothing to worry about, is there? It's either stress, or it's because I suck at pleasuring you."

Sword growled in frustration, "Oh shut up."

Sen leaned down, pressing a soft kiss just behind Sword's ear, before laying down to spoon behind him again. "Okay, I won't mention it again."

"Good." Now he felt even more miserable than he was before.

Sen slipped his arm around Sword's waist and pressed tiny kisses against his shoulder.

"What are you doing?"

"Cuddling, what does it look like?"

Sword snorted.

Sen wiggled his toes against the soles of Sword's feet, nuzzling his neck.

Sword moved his feet away, "What the hell?"

"Just relax and cuddle, okay?" Sen replied, kissing Sword's shoulder again.

"Sen. If you were in my position right now. Would you want to cuddle?"

"I don't know. Maybe. It might make me feel better if I had a reassuring cuddle."

"Well it doesn't make me feel better."

Sen sighed. "Not even a little bit?"

"No...." He sounded miserable.

Sen nuzzled his shoulder more. "Is that anything I can do to cheer you up?"

"No....."

"Nothing at all?"

"No!"

"Okay, okay, don't get wound up."

"Then stop asking."

Sen frowned and snuggled closer. "Okay, I'm shutting up."

"Good."